by Aaron Burkhalter
Jokes and good-natured chatter are integral aspects of the Nelson family’s weekly get-togethers at Haggen Food & Pharmacy in Burlington. Roger Nelson, 72, of Burlington is of the second generation of Nelsons that meets with family members.
It’s the tradition that many families dread: the annual family get-togethers that begin on Thanksgiving Day and don’t end until after New Year’s Day.
Maybe it’s your nagging mother, your disapproving father or that uncle whom nobody understands.
But while many people will groan at the prospect of spending two days out of the year with their extended families, the Nelsons of Skagit County like each other so much that the holidays just don’t come often enough.
Every Wednesday afternoon for the past 10 years, members of the vast Nelson family have headed to Burlington to catch up with each other and have a little good-natured fun, Nelson-family style.
For them, that means plenty of jokes and laughter with their coffee, cookies and other snacks.
“Eighty percent of these meetings is silliness, but it’s fun,” said Donald Schoon, 70, of Everson.
On a recent Wednesday afternoon, about nine members of the Nelson family — all 70 and older — sat around tables that had been pushed together at Haggen Food & Pharmacy and poked fun at Myrtle Knutzen, 91, who had just renewed her driver’s license.
“You should treat your elders with respect,” Myrtle said, before clarifying her relationship to the family.
She joined its ranks by marrying a Nelson cousin, who has since died. But she said the Nelsons feel as much like family to her as her own.
That doesn’t stop her from making the distinction plain.
“Well, I’m from a much more refined family,” Knutzen said.
One Wednesday in November, a fire alarm drowned the group’s conversation with a high-pitched squeal. Everyone paused, looked for the smoke, then turned to each other asking, “What did you do?”
Despite the disparaging jokes, the Nelsons’ meeting tradition stems from the need to stay together and a deep-rooted affection for each other.
“We gather here so we can keep up our identity,” said Virgil Nelson, 87, of Mount Vernon.
Schoon said there’s more value to the meetings than just fun and games. He pointed out to the busy Burlington Boulevard, where he said people try to fill their lives with money and possessions.
“We find something here every week that you can’t find at the bank,” Schoon said. “We like to get together and see how it all turned out. It’s something most families lack.”
Scandinavian immigrants Emil Nelson and Ana Dalan met in Skagit County and married in 1910. Their six children, along with several generations of grand- and great-grandchildren, continue to call Skagit Valley their home.
Their six children began the weekly meeting tradition, although no one remembers exactly how long it’s been.
Donna Mitchell, 80, of Burlington, said her brother Floyd was in a car wreck at the time. The accident bolstered communication between the siblings, but Mitchell decided they needed to see each other more often.
“Life was getting short. ... Life was going on, and our family needed to be getting together,” Mitchell said.
They began by meeting in a sitting area in Fred Meyer, then later moved to Haggen. Now the gatherings boast between 10 and 20 people a week.
Most of the time, Donna Mitchell, Virgil Nelson and their kids join the gathering. The most regular attendees are retired and can carve out some time on a Wednesday afternoons. On a few rare days, all four generations of Nelsons are represented.
And when it comes to conversation, anything goes.
Family members met Nov. 5, the day after the presidential election. Those supporting President-elect Barack Obama celebrated, while John McCain’s supporters maintained a positive wait-and-see attitude. Other weeks, they celebrate family members’ birthdays.
Typically at the Nelson gatherings, a cluster of women sit on one side of the table, while the men lounge around the other.
“The men like to talk men’s talk,” said Roger Nelson, 72, of Burlington.
On the drives home, Donna Mitchell said the couples fill each other in on what was said at the opposite end of the table.
Ask Donna Mitchell about those families that dread getting together, and she’s shocked.
“Oh no,” she said. “We look forward to Wednesdays. It’s a pleasure.”
Schoon said she keeps her calendar clear every Wednesday, just in case.
“I don’t even set a doctor’s appointment or anything,” Schoon said. “You never know.”
Aaron Burkhalter can be reached at 360-416-2141 or .
